How do you balance having two kids under two and still keeping your marriage a priority? I have no idea how to do this.
-Mommy Of Two
Man, do understand this feeling! I so remember having two precious boys, 2 years old and 1 month old, and wondering if I was ever going to get to shower alone again-let alone go on a date! Jake was (and is) my best friend and I MISSED him.
But one thing that is universally true about kids- they know how to be the squeaky wheel! It is so easy to put our husband’s on the back burner as we deal with all the NOW tasks that must take place to keep tiny humans alive and thriving. And if your Man is anything like Jake, he understands how important and demanding being a mommy is. He will patiently wait until you have free time to spend with him.
But here’s the thing, you never have time. We mom’s have the amazing ability to always have things that need to be done, no matter how long or hard we work.
Jake and I had to get creative to make sure we spent the much needed time cultivating our friendship.
One thing we did was implore my mom, sisters, and trusted teenage girls from our church ( read: beg and bribed) to help us by watching the boys at least twice a month so we could have a date night. Even if it was only an hour or two because my nursing baby needed me, it was an hour more than we would have gotten if we had just given up. It always seemed like such a hassle to get a sitter, get dressed, get kids set up, all for 1 little hour. But let me tell you, I never, not once, regretted all the work AFTER the date. Sometimes we would drop the boys off at my mom’s and just drive around talking. Sometimes we would go have coffee. As the boys got older, we sprung for a movie or dinner. And more than once or twice, we dropped the boys off and headed back home for our own kind of fun…(wink)
When money wasn’t as tight, and the kids were a bit older, we would pay attention for hotel deals. We would sneak away for one or two glorious nights at a local hotel, eating meals slowly, watching hotel cable and sleeping through the night in bed I didn’t have to make!
Another things we did was make stay at home date nights. We would commit to at least once a week putting the kids to bed and, no matter how late it was, sitting and enjoying dessert ( sometimes I cooked, sometimes Jake brought something home, and sometimes it was just Blue Bell!) over candle light.
Again, I often started out exhausted wanting only to sleep a bit before the baby woke up to nurse again, but once I was sitting with my Love, eating yummy food I didn’t have to share with a toddler and getting to finish my sentences, I never regretted the missed sleep or effort.
It’s not easy. And often there are trade offs. But I wouldn’t trade the things I sacrificed ( even sleep) for the memories and relationship I have now.
Keep fighting the good fight, Sweet Mama. The nights are OH SO LONG, but the days are short.
Enjoy your Guy. He can be your built in, life long, best friend.
I am praying for you!
-From the Trenches